A small toy stove and refrigerator is precariously placed under the green porcelain sink in my grandmother's kitchen. A little girl with long, brown curly hair is sitting on the floor "cooking" along with with her grandmother. Funny though, the aromas of baking bread and spaghetti sauce simmering smells much better on Nonna's stove.

My grandmother was a sweet woman and very much into the old traditional Italian way of doing things. I think I remember Grandma Rosa always being in the kitchen cooking as we always had family over. Sundays of course were the biggest cooking days. And my grandmother had a system....:-)) My mother and my aunts were responsible for bringing the desserts...yes there was always more than one dessert in my grandmother's home...:-)) Only thing is our family has a history of diabetes, and no one knew then what we know today about this disease. But food was one thing our family always enjoyed...:-)) All of our old home movies showed us around the table feasting.:-))

My grandmother was born in Montalbano Elicona - Messina, Italy on 17 January 1899 to Filippo Arlotta and the former Maria Di Stefano. She was the oldest of four children: Joseph (March 23, 1906-September 06, 1970), Teresa (Arlotta) Limina (September 18, 1907-November 05, 1992), and Daniel (July 01, 1991-January 15, 1994). Gram was a young child when she and my great-grandparents emigrated to the U.S. Not much of her early life is known, but once she married my grandfather and later had children, they eventually moved to Buffalo.

Much of my grandmother's life centered around her kitchen. I remember she used to always keep dampened laundry and in the refrigerator for ironing (uhm which was done in the kitchen..:-)) This room was the "other" meeting place for family in her home. Looking back now that kitchen seemed so large to a child of two, but by today's standards it would be thought of as quite small. I remember there was a small room off the kitchen where my Uncle Danny stayed. The best memories I have of that kitchen was all of the cooking that was done. And my grandmother's cooking was not confined to just that kitchen. She also worked in an Italian restaurant called Darone's on Niagara St. (now known as Marco's Restaurant) and cooked for all the patrons. I remember passing by many times and from the street you could see the gigantic, shiny stainless steel pots hanging in mid-air. (well at the time I thought they were hanging in mid-air..:-)) I always wondered how my grandmother cooked in them...as they looked so heavy. She never wasted anything..she always had a way of even making 'weeds' (dandelion, cardoon, etc.) taste scrumptuous..!! The 'basics' would always be found in her kitchen: olive oil (in those large 1-gallon tins), garlic, onions, tomatoes (of course), cheeses, homemade breads, pasta, and Papa's sausage. Potatoes were not just used for cooking either..Gram used to have bad headaches and I remember many a time she would position 3 potato slices on her forehead held by a cloth wrapped around her head. It always seemed to help get rid of her headaches. Even more "American" foods would be prepared with an Italian flair by the addition of olive oil, or Italian wine, garlic or tomatoes.

After Papa passed away, Gram stayed with us a lot. She actually took turns spending a little time with each of my uncles and their families. But she was with us most of the time, and she continued many of the things she had done when she and Papa had their home. But I could see the years beginning to take its toll...she was getting older, and moving around a little slower, and tired more often. After a long illness, she left us on December 26, 1979 to join our grandfather.

Now you might think these memories are somewhat strange...all centering around food, a kitchen and dining room. But so many Italian families have similar remembrances, and it all surrounded around La Famiglia. This was part of our family traditions. We celebrated births, marriages, communions, confirmations and graduations - and mourned loved ones together as a family. For me, because I was around adults at a very early age, my surroundings during those times of joy and sadness were part of those memories. My grandmother spoke Sicilian dialect when I was growing up and I was told that I learned to speak Sicilian before I even knew English. That stopped once Papa wanted all of us to begin speaking English. But once, shorty after my grandmother became ill, we were in the hospital, and she looked at me and started speaking to me in Sicilian. My father looked so puzzled and couldn't figure out why. It took me a couple minutes to realize that she was remembering a time long ago -one of our special moments. I explained to my father what she was doing and then I looked into my grandmother's eyes...and nodded...she knew I understood. That was the last time we would ever speak like that but I will aways treasure that memory..

In September 1995 I took my first trip to Italy and Gram had been gone from us a long time. On the plane I sensed I wasn't alone. As I was looking out of the window at the sea, recollections of my grandmother and I began to surface - we were speaking Italian again. She was thanking me for bringing her home.